Our alumni are amongst the richest in the country. Hoorah.

During exam season, we’re all questioning why we’re sitting in the library while everyone else seems to be having lunch in the meadows.

However, fear not fellow procrastinators! If you can stick it out until the end, you have a very high chance of becoming one of the richest people in the country. Hoorah!

We might actually become millionaires. But, actually

The UK University Ultra-High Net-Worth Alumni Rankings (an ‘illuminating study that ranks UK universities based on the number of ultra high net worth alumni,’ apparently) says Edinburgh has the 9th richest alumni in the UK, so it’s not all for nothing.

Rolllllllllllllllin’ in the money (more than this we’d hope).

Unsurprisingly, Oxford and Cambridge took the top two spots, with Bristol ranking 17th, and Warwick just squeezing into the top 20.

There are 80 Edinburgh alumni that are considered to be of ‘ultra high net worth’, in comparison to Oxford’s impressive 401. What really did make us sit up and listen, was that the Edinburgh alumni are said to be worth 6.4 billion US dollars collectively.

Slightly less impressive is that only 10% of these rich kids are female, with the highest percentage of wealthy women being at King’s College London, which still lies at a very low 20%. Beyoncé would be so upset.

Where dem girls at?

Where dem girls at?

Most amusing is how the lovely students of Edinburgh have acquired all of this money.

Edinburgh “has the highest percentage of UHNW alumni who have inherited their wealth at 26% and the lowest percentage of self-made UHNW alumni at 46%.”

We all know we have the stereotype of being posh kids living off the bank of Daddy’s investment company, but come on guys, where’s the Dragon’s Den spirit?

We do, however, redeem ourselves slightly by having one of the youngest sets of filthy-rich alumni, with an average age of 54.

So even if we aren’t that inventive, at least we’re down with the kids.

  • Gaz Herbert

    This has to be the worst article I have read ever. I looked at the headline and already began to hate you are your opinion. Who do you think you are, you’re not going to get on Geordie Shore so behave with your cheesedick attitude and dweebish ways.

  • Robyn

    This is obviously a joke and it’s been blown way out of proportion. He definitely hasn’t done anything wrong enough to deserve his role as chair being questioned.

  • Mary

    i have to question the reputability of this article due to the fact an apology was posted 4 hours after the initial tweets, which were obviously posted in jest. This is clearly an attempt to find a story out of nothing.

  • Fran

    How can a white guy be racist against white guys?

  • Hardcore eye-roller.

    Humourous celebration of diversity gone wrong. He’s apologised. Get over it. Branding him a racist is also way out of line. Looks like a fabricated personal attack to me. Not that anyone takes The Tab seriously anyway…

  • Maddie Boden
    • Fran

      Yes. This. Exactly what I was saying.

  • BeAgainstDiscrimination

    The girl on twitter made a crucial point. You wouldn’t say let’s appreciate there’s not black, gay females. This just shows how discrimination is still seen one-sided. It’s a two way thing. A homosexual thinking he’s better than a heterosexual because of his sexuality is not fighting for equality. They’re fighting for superiority and that’s wrong. How can everyone be so blind to see this is offensive. If it had been the other way round everyone would have kicked off. Discrimination happens to all skin colours, sexualities and genders

    • Fran

      OBVIOUSLY YOU WOULDN’T APPRECIATE HAVING NO GAY BLACK FEMALES. That’d be homophobia, racism and misogny.

      He’s not trying to be better, he’s just celebrating the diversity! Where does it say he’s looking for superiority.

      It is unbelievably uncommon to see an executive team without any straight, white males because they are so commonly in positions of power. To celebrate the progress that has been made by noting the diversity in the committee is absolutely fine!

  • alcuin member

    Can the tab please edit this article to firstly award photo credits to the photos they have used of Dom and secondly not slander a positive campaign that was not created by Dom nor should be used in order to attack him.

  • Angry Straight White Male

    The fact it was in jest doesnt mean it can be excused? How many times have we seen males post sexist comments on twitter, get in trouble for it, and then say it was “a joke”. They mention Dapper Laughs – his whole persona was a JOKE – albeit one that was sexist. He got universally panned. This is a pathetic example of “equality” in action, because those that cry about “equality” all the time have been revealed as further marginalising themselves and putting themselves above everyone else.

    As for “alcuin member’s” comments. The Tab isn’t taking anything away from the campaign, it is merely highlighting the irony that Dom supports the point about not commenting on sexuality – and then goes and does it himself!

    The second you mention “straight, white male” the rules of equality completely go out of the window. And as for a diverse executive committee?? It is two girls and a gay guy! Diverse? NO! So he’s not even praising the fact it is diverse in the first place. He is celebrating the fact there are no straight white males on it.

    Simple. Just apologise properly and get on with it – just like every straight white male has to after they make “a joke”.

    • Fran

      Just a lil’ FYI. There’s actually five girls and a gay. And apologise for celebrating the success of oppressed and marginalised groups? No. He admitted he could have made that celebration more tactful instead of jokingly appreciating their absence, but the point remains that we should celebrate the progress that has been made from the days when only straight white males would run for and gain positions of authority, as Phil said.

      This article is just ridiculous and the fact people are even considering that Dom is discriminating against straight white males (especially as a white male) is absolutely ludicrous.

  • Phil Daneshyar

    I think he is trying to say that he is happy that other races and genders and sexualities have got on the board instead of white males; because there seems to be a dominance of white males in public office or places… So he is happy that the stereotype of white males only having the confidence to run etc… Is now dead. I don’t agree there is an ego amongst white males but I think that was his poit

  • Vision writer

    The tab has done nothing but write out the facts. So they’ve done nothing wrong. It’s the people who are calling Dom a racist who are in the wrong. Not the tab. They haven’t given their opinion so i don’t get why everyone’s hating on them

  • Albert

    Perhaps spend the money installing some air conditioning. Much as a nightclub might be nice for some students, I can’t help but feel that enabling temperature settings other than ‘sweltering tropical heat’ or ‘penguin chill’ in Derwent might be better. Because, y’know, it might actually help students learn stuff. Heaven forbid.